People often talk about the “know, like and trust” factor. They’re usually referring to the fact that other people want to know, like and trust you before they’re willing to do business with you. I’d like to turn the question around and ask you: Do you know, like and trust YOURSELF?
Self-awareness and self-discovery are truly a lifelong process. I’m watching my teenage kids figure it out as they grow into young adults. I’m contemplating life frequently in mid-life. I see my parents making adjustments in their 70s and 80s so that they can continue to live a fulfilling and joyful life. I even get to interact with people who are well into their 90s through my work. I’m blessed to know a handful of people who have made it to 100 and beyond.
As long as we’re still alive and breathing, we’re making choices every day that support our growth or contribute toward challenges in our lives. It’s important to ask yourself on a frequent basis: How do I feel right now? What do I need? What do I want? How do I go about getting what I need and want in life? How do I get to a place where I feel what I want to feel? This part is all about self-awareness. Asking these questions help you to know yourself better.
Then what decisions are you going to make and what actions are you going to take? As you move in this direction, you move into self-regulation and to like yourself. You’re able to do the things that bring you happiness and fulfillment. This isn’t always easy to do. We get into our routines and habits and go into auto-pilot mode. It’s not always easy to change or pivot in a new direction. But life doesn’t happen in a vacuum and our path is never a straight line. So we have to learn to go with the flow and zig and zag through life.
If we are able to know ourselves and like ourselves, then we will get to the point where we trust and believe in ourselves. We’ll be able to trust our decision making process and trust that we’re headed in the right direction, even when we’re standing at the edge of a precipice and it’s time to take a leap of faith toward what we want in life. In psychological terms we call this self-efficacy – your faith in your own ability to execute the course of action that you want to take.
When we truly know, like and trust ourselves, we can move into a deep and abiding sense of self-love. When all of your basic needs are met, you can move into self-actualization and self-transcendence, the top of the pyramid of Maslow‘s hierarchy of needs as he originally created it and later amended it. You can love yourself fully and have enough love to give to others and receive their love in return.
To some people it might seem trite to talk about self-love or esoteric to talk about self-actualization and self-transcendence. I believe it’s an essential step to living life to the fullest. My new book, The Self-Love Journal, guides you through a four step process to more deeply know, like, trust and love yourself. You can pre-order it on Amazon at
As a gift to people who pre-order the book before November 26th, I’m hosting a free online book club mini-course from November 16th through the 26th. Once you order the book, email me a copy or a screenshot of your receipt/order to [email protected] and I’ll invite you into the group on November 15th.